Wednesday 3 July 2013


When I was small I loved playing choose your own adventure gamebooks.  I rediscovered them in my twenties, vowing this time that I would play them properly and not cheat by keeping my thumb in the previous page and automatically winning every fight.  Curiously, this made for a very different experience.  Instead of living the dream of the all-conquering hero, I found myself playing as a series of characters (I made up a different one each time) who scrabbled around the edge of an adventure before facing an unpleasant and untimely death.  I got really fond of some of these guys (and girls) and was very sad when they passed away.  If anything I think I identified more with them than the heroes I had played as a child.  It's nice to know what happened to some of those skeletons that seem to decorate every dungeon...  If the fantasy universe were the real one I'm pretty sure that would be my fate.

Why did I bring my Bagpipes??

Why must I have such a ridiculous hobby?

Oh, God, another bloody passageway.  East or west - I don't know!

I'm going to die, I know it.  Some pesky goblin's going to jump me and have my guts out.

Entering this tournament and preparing for my almost certain death has taught me one thing: It is a myth that women choose their men as life companions.


  1. Number one is a question I pose myself in the real universe quite regularly, or else the equal and opposite, "Why didn't I bring my bagpipes?"

    My dad always said if real life were a film he'd have been the guy who had his fruit stall knocked over in the car-chase.

    1. ^-^ I like that! There is a fine montage to be made of all the knocked over stalls in movies. Hadn't realised what a cliché it was until you mentioned. A knocked over fruit stall must be the perfect symbol of something or other.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.